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The Poking Stick
Vance Charactar Portrait
Vance - February 22, 2007, 9:00PM
Yeah! The poking stick! You may remember its debut a few comics ago, yet I had no explanation as to what it actually is. As you can figure it follows its name pretty well, it's a stick you poke people with. There is not a single poking stick, but millions upon millions littering the world waiting to poke people. Here are the few rules that make something a "poking stick" and not just a piece of wood.

First, it has to be at least 80% wood. You can't have an all metal poking stick, since that would make it a poking prod and some of the hilarity may be lost in the transfer. In this rule a pencil is not a viable poking stick, since roughly 30-40% is graphite or other metals.

Second, you must be able to wrap a single hand around it entirely. If it's too big for your hand it's not a stick, it's a log or plank or some sorts like that. Although the humor factor is still there with the "poking plank" it's just not a spontaneous device.

Third, it can not be taller then you. I know your asking "But why?" well it's simple. The poking stick gets its power from the never saw it coming factor, and something taller then 6 feet, or so (depending on your height), is just to blatantly obvious.

Fourth, it must be bigger then your index finger, since there's no point in poking somebody with a stick, when your finger is a more readily available option.

If you follow these simple steps you, yes even you, can have your very own poking stick to piss off your friends.

Reese Charactar Portrait
Reese - February 22, 2007, 9:00PM
I don't think he's ever gotten me in the eye with any of his "poking sticks" before, but I think that is because I'm constantly on the lookout for such things from him. I'm not to big on the whole poking stick thing, as I prefer to piss off my friends with words rather than simple actions.